Friday, September 30, 2005

Quite amusing

Last night I received the most amusing phone call. A friend called me and said that she had been praying for me, and she sensed that I had some fear...about moving to Boston, about our friendship, about something. It was interesting, because for the first time in my life, I seriously have no fear about anything...ok, maybe moving in with my aunt, but that will be short-lived and not nearly as bad as my visits because I will be working and will not be with her 24/7.

So, I let her keep talking, and I attempted to really see what was going on. I shared minimally with her, because, to be honest, I have made a decision to separate from her. I don't need drama in my life, and I don't need people who are unrestrained in their living constantly dropping their problems on my plate.

I think that what has happened is that in her spirit, she senses that she is the one who is afraid. She knows that something happened the night that she lied to me and didn't answer my call. A level of trust that had been the cornerstone of our relationship was eroded. I saw clearly, for the first time, that she has not been completely honest with me. And, with clarity of mind, I made a decision not to believe everything that she says to me. God has not given me the gift of discernment to turn it off when I need it most.

God has called me to a kind of living that will require that the people with whom I am accountable and surrounded be on solid ground spiritually. I know that we all have our weaknesses. Mine happens to be chocolate, among others. However, there are some weaknesses that cloud our judgment and therefore cloud our ability to hear God for ourselves and for others. So, yes, I am cutting some people out of my inner circle. Those people never had the right to be there in the first place.

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