Adios 2006

Well, I'm kicking off the new year in style. This afternoon I had real Asian food for lunch. Yummy! I wish I had the guts to say thank you in Mandarin. Not so much. Maybe next time.

I watched The Holy Grail, but I have to be honest. That's not really the kind of movie that one can watch by oneself. Now that I think about it, I'm still waiting for my movie night. Hmmm...mental note to self. Put that on the resolutions for '07.

I've been trying to formulate a proper 2006 post. I don't know if I can do it. So much happened that I find it very difficult to constrain that amazingness, the magnitude of what God has done in the past six months, let alone the past year. So, I'll try to highlight a few things, but know for everything I mention, I am leaving out so much.

God stuff
In 2006, I have learned who I am in Christ. I have learned who God is in a new way. I have fallen deeper in love with my Lord each day. God has restored what the locusts have stolen in many areas of my life. He has brought me places that I never thought I would go spiritually. I am learning what intimacy with the Lord really is. I've learned how to lean on Him in the good times and in the bad. And, I'm learning not to ask why.

The Sanctuary
I'm not a church groupie. I've been there, done that and have the scars on my heart to prove it. But, what I am is a part of something that is so much bigger than myself. God has healed so many areas of my life through this church. I'm not afraid of church, of pastors, of leadership any longer. I admit that I am a little less apt to jump in without much consideration, but all in all, God is amazing. I love my church. I love the people with whom I have the opportunity to worship God on a weekly basis.

The Family
My sister and Tim, after 15 years of "not rushing into anything" and having three kids, finally got married in May. They had a beautiful wedding in Tim's mom's back yard. Fun was had by all. My memories of the wedding? Waiting for an hour for the flower woman to arrive at the church to drop off flowers; yelling at Tim to get into the house because he was about to be married; being completely and utterly embarassed when the best man caught the garter and I caught the bouquet and yeah. I'm really proud of my sister and Tim for doing the right thing and getting married.

The Friends
This year reintroduced friends into my life that I thought were out of my life, and it has seen friends leave my life who I thought were in this thing for the long haul. I'm developing new friendships with some amazing people, including my pastor and his wife. God continues to blow my mind in this realm of my life. One area in which I will be growing in 2007 is how to be a friend.

Coming in 2007
My plan, my goal, my desire for 2007 is to grow in intimacy with the Lord, to surrender everything unto Him. I will begin seminary. Other than that, I am jumping into the car, buckling up my seatbelt, getting my hands and feet into the car and enjoying the ride.

Happy New Year my friends!

Doubters

*mental note to self: don't blog immediately upon arriving home with really low blood sugar*

Now that I got that out of the way :-)

This morning, I was reading my Bible *gasp* trying to comprehend John 15...you know, the whole abiding thing. Only, instead, I read John 14. Therein is a scripture that is quoted and quoted and quoted: John 14:6 says, Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the FAther except through me." That scripture is a comfort to me.

But I never noticed the first two words. "Jesus answered." Have you ever realized that Thomas asked a question to which Jesus made that reply? You know. Thomas. The disciple that needed to see the holes in Jesus' hands and feet and side. Doubting Thomas we like to call him.

Over the next two weeks, I'm going to have the opportunity to be around a doubting Thomas. My friend Brenda's boyfriend is supposed to be in town with her for Christmas. He's done a lot of research about God, but he still has doubts about God.

But this morning, I learned something. The doubters among us ask questions. About things that some of us take for granted. If Thomas hadn't asked Jesus, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?" then Jesus may not have made the statement that many of us find so comforting.

So, yeah. Doubters ask questions that demand good answers.

Ouch

Yesterday, after church, we were talking with Pastor John and Beth.

All of a sudden, we found ourselves talking about blogs. I mentioned that I had written that I want to be anywhere but NJ. Some more comments were made, and then Pastor John looked away and said, "You see. Deneen lives here, but she lives elsewhere." If that is not the exact quote, it's what I heard.

Ouch.

More conversation was had. A day was lived. But that comment stuck with me. Not in a bad way. But more in a this is something on which I have to work kind of way.

I've spent 31 years wishing I was somewhere else. To quote George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life, "The three best sounds in the world are a plane engine, a train whistle and the sound of an anchor pulling up." I love to travel, even if it means getting on a PATCO train to go into Philadelphia.

However, I have to learn to abide where I am. I've never known so clearly that God has placed me here for such a time as this. The things that I see Him doing in my life right now, His constant presence, His words of encouragement, correction. He's placed me in a church where I am held accountable. Not the kind of accountability that makes me hide who I am. The kind of accountability that allows me to be who I am. He's given me something for which I have been asking for a long time.

One day we were singing "To the Ends of the Earth" by Hillsong United. The worship leader asked the congregation, "Would you go to the ends of the earth for God? What if the ends of the earth, for you, is NJ." I remember crying bitterly. However, those words have stuck deep within my heart. I've been crying out for years, "Here I am, lord. Send me." It seems that He's saying, "Deneen, I already have."'

Ouch.

So, my lesson for this week, month, 2007 seems to be learning to abide right here, where I am, in NJ.