Thoughts on marriage

I begin this post by admitting that I am not married, and I've not been close to being married. My nearest encounter with being married occured when I was in my senior year of high school. I had my first real boyfriend and I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. Until I realize that he was going nowhere fast and only wanted to live off of my salary. Then...I knew that he was not for me. But I digress. A friend and I were recently discussing friends and acquaintances who were recently married or about to tie the knot. We were able to think of two or three couples out of a whole lot who were engaged or recently married about which we could smile. At one point, I thought I was jealous. Then I asked the question, "What is wrong with me? Why can't I be happy for these people?" I have come to realize that there are a lot of people who are settling for ok. They are settling for what is in front of them rather than for what can be. They are choosing what will help advance their striving, their vision rather than someone who will challenge them to be more. They are submitting to the pressure of the people who do not understand singleness rather than following what God has promised them.

Please understand something. I am absolutely pro-marriage. I want to get married one day. I respect the institution of marriage. My parents have been married for nearly 33 years. I believe that God designed them for each other. I see many, many marriages in the church, outside of the church that are obviously blessed by God. However, what frightens me is that there are so many people who are getting married to get married. I see people getting married who have nothing in common but attraction for one another. I see people getting married for whom marriage means giving up their God-given dreams. This makes me sad. I have a friend who is getting married next weekend. She kept the engagement and pending marriage quiet from people who know her. This sends a red flag flying in the air.

Also know that her fiance is a great man. I've worked with him. He has a heart for God and for a city that rivals just about anyone that I know. I'm sure that he will be a great husband and a great father. What bothers me is that his vision and his call are very specific, as are my friends. And they are to different parts of the world to different people. What they have in common at the moment is geography and church attendance.

I will be praying for my friend. I hope that God blesses her, her future husband and their future. I just wish I could get past the part where I want to cry every time I think of her married to this man.