Mission

How am I supposed to put into words the roller coaster that has been my day. From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows I have travelled. I want to desperately to be strong, to walk out what I have spoken today. But can it be done? Will I be strong or will I fall to pieces? Will I remember who I am, who I've become, or will I revert to trembling Much Afraid once again? Will I have the courage to be a beacon of hope, or will I lament walking in alone?

Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them. Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land--against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests and the people in the land. They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you, declares the Lord.
-Jeremiah 1:17-19

I guess I have my answer.

This is the reality of life with Christ. He puts me in very uncomfortable situations and tells me to depend on Him. Leaning on Him, on others, is not something that comes easily to me. I've not really had all that many people to lean on in the past. I've generally be the person on whom people lean. I have to admit, however, that learning to depend on people has been a fruitful process. Trust is a wonderful thing. I don't give it easily, but I find freedom once it's been given. And freedom is something that I am currently enjoying.

So, who am I, then, to even question my actions? Jesus came to set the captives free. If I am truly His ambassador, walking out the Great Commission, then how dare I even consider answering no when He has divinely appointed a moment, a meeting? I have asked Him to be the Lord of my life, and that means of all of my life, including my actions. I have told Him, "Lord, here am I. Send me."

So tomorrow, off I go. I am being sent. On a mission. Not with fear, but with confidence.