Well, the dishes are clean. The family is tucked away safely in bed. Relatives are on their way home. The Cowboys kicked some butt. All in all, today was a successful Thanksgiving. It certainly did not feel like Thanksgiving, except for the feeling that my stomach gets when I've eaten "just a little taste" of everything.
This morning, a nerve was touched that runs so deeply that I got angry. My niece got all dressed up to go shopping with my father. He was so focused on getting to the store that he saw how her pretty dress would make it difficult for her to get into the truck rather than how pretty she looked in the dress. When I was a kid, all I wanted was for him to tell me how pretty I am. Instead, I got encouraged to go outside and "get some fresh air" or to get up at 0645 to play tennis. It's not that I think that my father doesn't love me. I know he does.
So, this morning, I got really upset with my father. I had flashes of everytime I wanted someone to tell me that I'm lovely and I was left wonting. So, I had a choice. I could remain in my anger, or I could recognize that this nerve had been touched so that God could heal it. I wish I could say my knee jerk reaction was to run to His arms and ask Him for healing. It wasn't. It took a few minutes. When I did run to my Father's arms, He reminded me of His word. My King finds me enthralling, beautiful, lovely. My Father smiles when He thinks of me, He sings over me with dancing, He chuckles at my humor. My Father, the Lover of my soul, finds me enthralling. It is in that security that I rest. Not in the opinion of man. In the opinion of the Creator of the heavens and the earth.
So, added to my list of things for which to be thankful is this. Emotional growth.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
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